Thursday, February 12, 2009

Whatsa Matter? You No like a Da Calzone?


According to the Associated Press, the owner of a Goomba's Pizza in Florida pistol-whipped and beat a customer because he complained about the calzone he ordered.

In what I can only assume is an attempt at humor (it fails miserably at it, by the way) a web site called News Blaze -- which claims to be an independent source of news the mainstream outlets won't cover -- their writer on "Politics, Pop Culture and Pointless Pontification" (they at least got the pointless point right) has this to say about the Pizza Incident:

I have no sympathy for the victim, you don't complain that your calzone was prepared incorrectly to the owner of a joint named 'Goomba's Pizzeria.' That's like complaining to the owner of Hell's Angels Motorcycle Sales and Repairs that he installed a muffler incorrectly. He's lucky Mr. Goomba restrained himself, and merely gave him a well-deserved pistol-whipping.
He also gives a definition of the "word" Goomba, from UrbanDictionary.com. The fact that UrbanDictionary.com is a Wikipedia-like outfit that lets anyone contribute definitions to the site (and apparently, unlike Wikipedia, doesn't attempt to check the accuracy of the definitions contributed) doesn't seem to make much of a difference to the author of the News Blaze piece.

The author ends the piece with some advice for the victim of the Pizzeria's rage.
My advice for the hapless customer is to stick to Domino's Pizza, they won't send a hit man after you for complaining that your pizza wasn't delivered on time.
Sheesh. As I said, I hope this is supposed to be funny. While that won't make it less offensive on every level, it will go a long way to explaining why the piece was published in the first place.

Then again, it probably won't.

But what can you expect? The Goomba's Pizzeria chain is so offensive on every level, that it only seems fitting.

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